Foster and birth children

It is important that the foster children and birth children be treated as similarly as possible.  For example, if your birth children take dancing lessons or participate in sports, it is important that the foster children also have those opportunities.  Occasionally, a foster child will have a specific treatment issue that results in them needing such an activity as part of their treatment plan.  That would be discussed with you in terms of how to meet that need.

The foster child and birth children also need to have similar quality of clothing, furniture in their bedroom, etc.  You cannot take your birth children shopping at Macy’s and your foster children to the local bargain store. 

If your children have matching bedroom furniture, the foster child’s bedroom should also have matching furniture.  But, if everybody’s furniture is a combination of things from a number of different sources, it is fine for the foster child to also have such furniture.

The basic idea is that neither the foster child nor your birth children should be able to look around and feel that the other has better clothes/activities/furniture.  This creates resentment. 

It is for this reason that we do not require a specific amount to be spent on clothing each month (unless, of course, that is how you handle clothing with your birth children.)  Foster children need to be incorporated into all family activities.  This includes eating meals together and participating in most family vacations.

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